YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
