you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We were destined to go to rehab together
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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