Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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