I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
