Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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