My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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