think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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