you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
