the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
