yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
