If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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