Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
