Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
