and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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