You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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