I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
