he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize