my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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