this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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