how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize