thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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