Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize