Even the bartender felt bad for me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
