cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
