Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
