I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
