We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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