no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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