just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
