I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think people are normalizing furries
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
