Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Who put my cat in the fridge?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
