This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
