My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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