Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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