walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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