I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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