her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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