do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
