I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have aggressive nipples.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
