I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
