idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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