btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Let's get the cat blown out
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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