even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
