Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize