those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize