I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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