Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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