i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
