And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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