Where did you get a picture of my penis
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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