My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
