my mouth tastes like poor choices
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
