he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
