is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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