he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
