Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
