ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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