there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize
