fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Mom said you looked used
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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