You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
