I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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