When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize