Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize