does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
