I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
