Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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