You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
