She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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