She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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