1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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