I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
