shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
