thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize